Flourishing in Singleness - Biblical Perspective for Christian Singles

Cherishing God’s Unconditional and Unchanging love

Experiencing and understanding Christ’s unconditional love is the foundation of a meaningful life. The world searches for true love in other human beings, but for those who know Jesus, His unconditional love is what motivates us to live for Him. It is good to remind ourselves of the Gospel message often, because we so easily forget about the greatness of love shown to us by our everlasting Father.

Human love and relationships have its place, but nothing can replace the love of God.

Titus 3:5 - Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to his mercy he saved us, by the washing of regeneration, and renewing of the Holy Ghost;

1 John 4:10 - Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

The Purpose of Marriage

Like all other events in a Born-Again Christian’s life, marriage should also be primarily for God’s glory. A God-centred Christian family is a shining light in a dark world. Men, don’t marry if you won’t try to love your wife as a precious daughter of the highest King. Woman, don’t marry if you don’t want to respect your husband, out of love for God. Marriage is not primarily for happiness, but for holiness, though happiness is part of the package.

Genesis 2:18 - And the LORD God said, [It is] not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

Hebrews 13:4 - Marriage [is] honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

Ephesians 5:22-33 - Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

Ephesians 5:25-32 - Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

1 Corinthians 7:2 - Nevertheless, [to avoid] fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

Embracing the Gift of Temporary Singleness

You may seek to be married one day, but today you are single and you can’t change that. When you are single, your single season is a gift from God. You may be blessed with the gift of marriage tomorrow, but today you are “blessed with singleness”. The devil is a liar, to the married, he says “it is better to have been single” and to the single he shouts “You can’t be happy apart from marriage”. Today, you can choose to worry and make the devil happy or be thankful to God for the benefits of singleness and make devil worry. What will you choose?

Matthew 6:33 - But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

1 Corinthians 7:32 - But I would have you without carefulness. He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the Lord:

1 Corinthians 7:8 - I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I.

Winning the Battle for Purity

For Christians, purity is expected in thoughts, words and actions. The battle for purity starts in the mind. If you don’t reject a bad thought that is thrown into your mind in a few seconds, it often conceives and gives birth to sin. You cannot always control the flash of bad thoughts that the devil may throw into your mind, but you can stop dwelling on it, shut it and avoid sin. Avoid TV secular TV shows and films which may pollute your mind.

Song of Solomon 3:5 - I charge you, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, by the roes, and by the hinds of the field, that ye stir not up, nor awake [my] love, till he please.

1 Corinthians 6:18 - Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 - For this is the will of God, [even] your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:

Matthew 5:28 - But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

Romans 13:14 - But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to [fulfil] the lusts [thereof].

2 Timothy 2:22 - Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

1 Corinthians 6:13 - Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and them. Now the body [is] not for fornication, but for the Lord; and the Lord for the body.

2 Corinthians 10:4 - (For the weapons of our warfare [are] not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;)

Knowing your calling

Ask God for the specific calling and purpose for your life before you chose your life partner. It is wisdom to seek a partner who would not stop you from fulfilling your God-given purpose.

But, if you have earnestly asked God to reveal His specific purpose for your life and still not clear on it, don’t worry, but keep doing what you know is right and God will reveal it to you later. As you keep obeying God’s revealed will, He will slowly reveal His specific will for you.

Make the most of your available gifts, talents and resources for God, during your singleness.

1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 - For this is the will of God, [even] your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:

1 Thessalonians 5:18 - In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.

1 Peter 2:15 - For so is the will of God, that with well doing ye may put to silence the ignorance of foolish men:

Romans 12:2 - And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what [is] that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

Matthew 6:10 - Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as [it is] in heaven.

Willing to let go and rejecting Idolatory

Most Christian singles idolize marriage, without even knowing it. It is easy to believe a lie that the person you are going to marry is going to meet all your expectations forever. Marriage on earth is between two sinners (saved by grace) and so it will not be perfect. Even if you get married to a man or woman who exceeds your dreams, that person is most probably going to disappoint you one day or the other.

Mark 12:25 - For when they shall rise from the dead, they neither marry, nor are given in marriage; but are as the angels which are in heaven.

Matthew 19:12 - For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from [their] mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive [it], let him receive [it].

Psalms 119:37 - Turn away mine eyes from beholding vanity; [and] quicken thou me in thy way.

Colossians 3:2 - Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.

Hebrews 13:5 - [Let your] conversation [be] without covetousness; [and be] content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

Isaiah 46:5 - To whom will ye liken me, and make [me] equal, and compare me, that we may be like?

Romans 1:25 - Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen.

Isaiah 44:6-20 - Thus saith the LORD the King of Israel, and his redeemer the LORD of hosts; I [am] the first, and I [am] the last; and beside me [there is] no God.